This past weekend, I was privileged to have the opportunity to speak at a first-ever police wives’ conference in Wisconsin – yes, land of farms, windmills, cheese and cranberries, so I’m told. (I have pictures to prove the farms and windmills)

Twenty-three women attended; pretty remarkable considering there has never been anything quite like it before in the nation’s history that I know of.  Let’s hope it’s a movement…woot, woot!!

Here is a picture of some of the girls who were there.  We had a great time talking about Becoming a Woman of Courage. Even though we have very real fears and concerns, God assures us that it is His battle to fight.  All we have to do is stand still and praise Him in the midst of our storm.

I would encourage you to read 2 Chronicles 20 to see how God fought on behalf of his people, and even sent out the choir to defeat the enemy!  Interesting read, I assure you.

After the great time of fellowship with these wonderful ladies, Rick and I were off to visit with our son who is attending New Tribes Bible College.  In typical mom fashion, I had text him before we left for Wisconsin to see if there was anything he needed me to bring.  The response I got was priceless….shoes, toenail clippers, and red light saber.  Got to love these crazy college kids!

Finally, we made the trek back home, but not before I snapped this picture.  Wonder where this guy learned to drive?  Lol.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week.  Please feel free to share how God has helped you in your time of fear or insecurity.  I’m sure your story might be beneficial to others.

In His service,

Kristi

Since it is Valentine’s Day, I figured that I would write something related to L.O.V.E. and all that mushy stuff that happens each year around this time.

It seems as though stores and greeting card establishments begin pushing their wares even before Christmas has come to a close.  We’re bombarded with isles and isles of red and pink, pictures of naked babies with arrow packs, and commercials of those corny jewelry commercials that remind us that “a kiss begins with K.”  Duh!

Though I like chocolate, roses, and jewelry just as much as the next girl, it has become almost a “have-to” day.  If you don’t provide, then you are uncaring, unloving, and simply out of the loop.

I ask myself, “Why is it that we take one day….one stinking day to say “I love you” to the person we care about?  What about the 364 other days?  And, do material things really express the heart adequately or is this just another ploy by the advertisers to make an extra buck?  Well…I guess we’ve all fallen into the trap.

You know, Jesus said for us to “love one another” and to “love your neighbor as yourself.”  He challenged husbands to “love their wives as Christ loved the church” and for “wives to love their husbands and children.”  There was also the “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” verse, as well as the reminder that “love covers over a multitude of sins.”  Not quite exactly what is written by the leading greeting cards.

So following those words of godly wisdom, I want to offer up a challenge to us all:

Today I will love, but tomorrow I will as well.

I will find ways to cherish you, honor you, and show you respect each and every day.

Even when my heart does not feel it and my emotions are on the edge, I will love all the more, for I have been loved by the greatest of the them all.

I will not seek man’s approval but God’s, in the ways that I love.

I will not find happiness in things or contentment in surplus, but will dance for joy in the knowledge of knowing you.

I will treasure every moment of time we are given and revel in God’s abounding mercy for giving us another day.

Today and tomorrow until we part, I will be available with open arms and a ready heart, to love and be loved.

Today (and the rest of your life) show that special someone how much you treasure them.  You won’t regret it!

God bless and Happy Valentine’s Day!

Kristi

I decided that my topic for this week would be marriage undercover.  Some months back, I received a phone call out-of-the-blue, from the wife of an officer in a very large department. She was at her wits end struggling to hold on to her marriage. The enemy had quietly snuck in unnoticed, and began unraveling the very fibers that had been woven together at the altar years before.

A pulled thread here, a tattered, unmended corner there, and before she knew it, her husband had bought into the lie that the pattern was more appealing on the other side of the tapestry, so-to-speak.

With so many years invested into her marriage, this wife has chosen to work the loom – to stand for her marriage. However, the enemy has kept whispering thoughts of hatred, betrayal, and unforgiveness into her heart. The damage is irreparable, or is it? I believe this marriage can be saved through the grace of God. Yet, many more just like it, will tragically end in divorce all because we’ve allowed our borders to come down and the enemy to cross over. Somehow, our cover is no longer up.

Let me say this with all earnestness and love I can muster…guard yourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually; keep your marital bed pure; and above-all, blanket your marriage with prayer.

So how do we do these things in a world so saturated with sex and a “do what feels good” attitude? Let me first say, it’s not easy. Temptations lurk around every corner. But here are a few guidelines I have found helpful – many that come straight from God’s word.

• Never place yourself in a situation with a person of the opposite sex to whom you are not married. Now I realize that many cops have partners of the opposite gender, and with that, you don’t have much choice. However, if at all possible in any and all other instances, steer clear of one-on-one interactions.
• Limit your time in front of mindless television shows and movies that glorify and promote promiscuous lifestyles. They are not God-approved, nor helpful to you as the audience. Junk in equals junk out.
• Never fall into the trap of “sharing” your marital issues with a co-worker, neighbor, friend, etc. Your issues should be ”shared” with your spouse and/or a trusted, Christian counselor or clergy. I’ve seen many marriages fall into affairs when one spouse begins seeking consolation from a good listener, i.e. a jakal on the prowl.
• Be careful what you expose yourself to on the internet. Men…if the computer becomes a stumbling block to you, then throw it away! Pornography is degrading, detestable, and wholly unpleasing to God. Ladies, Facebook friends and pen pals through chat rooms are not real. They may be real people, but if they begin pulling you away from your spouse, then they are number one enemies.
• Happy hour is not your friend. It is only a place to mingle with folks who are desperately unhappy. Believe me when I say, I’ve seen it!
• Do not entertain thoughts of someone of the opposite sex. It may seem harmless to you, but it will soon begin to undermine your marriage.
• Ladies, watch what you wear. I see countless grown women trying to dress like their teenage daughters. C’mon. You can be stylish and attractive without sending the wrong message.
• Cover your marriage in prayer.
• Pray for your spouse daily.
• Pray for God’s wisdom and for Him to show you how to please your spouse and support him or her.
• Protect and carve out date nights with your spouse.
• Make sure to keep those romantic flames alive.
• Remember to serve God and put Him first.
• Finally, guys want respect and women want love. If you can remember to meet each other’s needs in these ways, then God will bless you and your marriage will thrive!

Whew! I know this was an exhaustive and toe-stomping message. But, the enemy is on the prowl and ready to devour our marriages. We need to blanket them with God’s love and direction. So let me ask you, is your marriage undercover?

God bless!

Kristi

Years ago, I was invited to speak at a women’s Christmas tea.  As I pondered over what I wanted to talk about, I felt as if the Lord was impressing on me to speak about gifts that He gives us, but not the kind we would want or ask for.

As many of you know, the last month my family and I have been in and out of hospitals, nursing homes, and behavioral institutions with my father who has dementia.

A week ago today after he grew very ill, we decided to honor his wishes of no more life-prolonging methods, thus, have been waiting on the inevitable; today hopefully closer to the end.

I began to rethink the whole gifts thing.  Each one of us can say that we have been given things in our lives (broken homes, a death of a loved one, illness, financial ruin, trouble on the job or with co-workers, etc.) which have caused us to question God or search for answers.  Yet, have we ever stopped to think about the good that these things bring into our lives?

In James 1, verses 2 through 4, we are reminded this: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

It reminds me of a caterpillar struggling to get out of its cocoon.  If not for the struggle, a newly formed butterfly wing would not be strong enough to fly, resulting in an early demise.  So with us….if God never gave us the difficult times we face in this life – His “gifts,” then we would never be strong enough to fulfill the purpose He has for us.  The hardships are in all actuality, a gift from the Master, perfectly orchestrated to meet our exact needs.

So, as I sit here and take in the last moments of death; the heavy, labored breathing and pale complexion, I realize that this moment in time was given to me in order to fulfill a purpose far greater than I could ever imagine.   And, I am determined to persevere through it all.

God bless, friends.

Kristi

(Friends, this is a re-post from a few years ago.  My dad is currently in the hospital and is not expected to live but just a few more hours.  Please lift us up in your prayers as we walk this journey.  God bless)

I don’t know about you, but I’ve experienced crumbling walls.  It’s not a pretty picture…especially if you’re the one standing underneath!

Being the wife of a police officer for 23 years, I have come to recognize that his job is God-ordained.  It’s not often thought of as that…why, turn on any news station and all one hears is the tearing and ripping apart of our police.  No-one wants to be held accountable these days.

Romans 13, however, describes an officer’s job.  As you peer into the lines that God spoke and Paul wrote, we see that “There is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God….For he is God’s servant.”

If it’s God-ordained, then it’s a good thing, right?  Whoa there Nelly!  With this high calling, come stresses.  How about anxiety and depression?  Try temptation, financial worries, and fear on for size.  These are all emotions that the officer can experience throughout his or her career.

According to the Officer Down Memorial Page, there have been 11 officer deaths so far this new year!  I may be stepping out on a limb here, but chances are, the thought of “could it be me next” must cross their mind a time or two.

So ladies, what do we find happens?  They clam up…most of them, anyway.  Normally, cops don’t talk.  Part of it is the nature of the job.  They simply cannot tell everything that is going on.  The other part, is that it’s hard to express to someone who is not in the same world, the stresses of the job.  It’s as if they would have to leave the security of their “normal,” in order to express what they experience.

With all that inner turmoil, the wife is suddenly left feeling unloved, unappreciated, lonely, and resentful.  She might notice that he no longer has time to just sit and talk.  Even when he’s home, it might be that his thoughts are a million miles away, leaving her to feel unnoticed.

I know there have been times in my own life when I’ve began resenting the job.  Resenting all the time that others are getting, when I’m needing him at home.  Tough spot.  Walls begin to crumble.

If I could have a dollar for every time we went to a restaurant and, you know the routine, he sits with his back against the wall with you in front…eyes scanning, scanning.  Oh, and it doesn’t stop there!  What about church, for heaven’s sake?  Same thing.

So what happens?  F R I C T I O N!  You guessed it.  Bricks and mortar are now barreling down between the two.  Someone’s going to get hurt.

According to Police Dynamics Institute, Inc., divorce for law enforcement if 60-70% higher than the national average; alcoholism is 2x the national average; domestic violence is the highest of all professions!  That one just baffles me.  Isn’t that what they are arresting people for?  Sadly, suicide is 3x the national average.  For some, the walls have caved in on them and there is no hope left.

In the ancient world, there were two great cities…Ninevah and Babylon.  Both had great walls around them and attitudes to match.  Babylon’s walls were over 350 feet tall and even encompassed one of the seven ancient wonders of the world, the hanging gardens.  Their walls had not been penetrated for something like over a 1000 years and they felt on top of the world…undefeated.

Don’t we often get that feeling with our marriages?  Oh, it’s okay.  We’re solid.  Nothing can destroy us.  He loves me, I love him.  The kids are okay.  Then before we know it, the wall begins to crumble.

What happened to both these cities can happen to us.  They fold in a matter of hours, and the enemy moves in.

The more I meet and talk with police couples, the more I’m seeing a pattern.  Imagine two circles on opposite ends of the spectrum.  The left circle represents him.  He has his police world…his thoughts, his temptations, etc.  The right circle represents her world…stress of the kids, needing to feel loved, etc.  However if you look, there is nothing in between linking them together.  They are separated by a great chasm of chaos, and left feeling empty and misunderstood.

However, God instituted the extraordinary relationship…the three intersecting rings of harmony within a marriage.  The first ring on the left is the husband, which connects with the middle ring of God, which connects with the right ring of the wife.  Together, they stand strong and firm, able to resist the flood of emotional distractions and outside temptations that can destroy a wall.

We read in Ephesians 5:25 that husbands are to “love their wives as their own body and as Christ loved the church.”  They are “not to be harsh with her,” (Colossians 3:19) but to “be considerate and treat her with respect.” (1 Peter 3:7)

Likewise, wives are to “submit to her husband as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22), to “love her husband” (Titus 2:4), and to “respect him.” (Ephesians 5:33).

If both partners are living for God first and foremost, then living to please one another, the wall will stand firm.

If, like the Babylonians, we build our homes on the sand, they will fold at the first sign of weakness.  Yet, if we build our homes on the rock of Christ, our homes will stand throughout any trial that comes our way.

Jesus said, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew24-27

So, with all that said…build your home today on the rock.  That way, your walls will have no problem standing the test of time.

God bless!

Kristi

I’m not one to watch many cop shows.   I’ve just never really liked them, however, since I am married to one  – a cop, that is, occasionally out of love for my man, I have taken one in.

I remember one particular movie that we watched.  For the life of me, I can’t remember the name or even who played in it (you can see that these really make an impact on me).  Yet, the story was about a detective who had investigated a horrendous murder of a child on his last day at work – the day of his retirement.

For months after, he tried to figure out who the killer was by meticulously going over and over the evidence.  Eventually, the killer was discovered and the murder solved, all in a two-hour window.

I thought about that movie and likened it to the Christian life.  Oftentimes, we are baffled by circumstances or traumatic events that happen in our daily lives.  We begin to question God and His goodness, even to the point of blaming Him for the troubles that seem to overtake our otherwise peaceful existence.

Over and over we examine and analyze the facts in our minds trying to decipher the “who dunnit” or “how it happened,” and in the process, begin to lose our faith.  We forget who God is, and that nothing happens without a purpose and a reason to better equip us for the journey ahead.

So today, I think it fitting that we “re-examine” the facts about our God; that we take a closer look at who He really is:

1. In Romans 8:28 we read these words, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Everything – the good things and the bad, work to bring a greater good to us (those who are followers of Christ) than we can ever hope or imagine.

2. The Apostle Paul reminds us in Romans 8:31-32, “If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did no spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?’ If God is our God – Lord of our life, then He who didn’t even spare His own Son, Jesus Christ, will give us what we need.

3. Ephesians 3:20 reminds us, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…” God is able.  He is able to do more than our feeble minds can even conjure up.  Isn’t that great that our God is so much bigger than us?!

4. Hebrews 13:5 says, “…be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” I don’t know about you, but this brings me comfort.  He is not going to leave me no matter what the circumstances.

5.  Finally comes my favorite verse…Jeremiah 29:11, “‘I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” What a promise!  God knew from the beginning of time what He has spoken over each one of our lives, and He will see those plans through.

I hope that somehow today, we will take a better look at who God is and what He is doing around us.  Let’s re-examine all the facts and evidence that all point us straight back to Him.

God bless!

Kristi

“Yet, O LORD, you are our Father.  We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

I heard a story once about a teacup that has truly resonated with me over the past several weeks, and I would like to share it here.

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The story goes that this little teacup was formed by the potter’s hands on a large spinning wheel.  Round and round, his hands lovingly formed each curve and indention until finally the potter stopped to eye his work.

“Not good enough, ” he said, then pounded the tiny cup back into a ball of clay to begin the reshaping process.  Finally, after much toil and thought, he took the tiny cup and placed it on a shelf to dry.

Days went by and the cup began to feel as if she was insignificant or unusable.  She had enjoyed the time she was in the hands of the potter, though the reshaping hurt a bit, but now it was as if he had forgotten her.

Finally, the day come when the potter took the little cup down from her shelf.  He lovingly painted a design on her sides, but then horror of all horrors!  He placed her in an oven and left her there.  Hotter and hotter it became.  The flames rose and licked her sides and she thought as if she would die right there in the fire.  Her friend, the potter, had once again forgotten her and left her to be consumed.  She could see him walking to and fro outside the oven door, but when she yelled for help, it was if he paid her no attention.

Finally, after feeling she could take no more, the potter quietly opened the door and pulled the tiny cup out of the oven and again, set her high up on the shelf.  “What is going on?” she thought.  “He must not care about me, for he only causes me pain.”

A few days later, the potter came back and took the little cup down from the shelf.  “Now, little one,” he said, “You are finally ready to be used.  If I had tried to pour tea in you before you were dry, your clay would have cracked.  That is why you had to sit on the shelf.  If I would have used you before the fire, your beautiful colors would not have shown so brightly.”

Looking at herself in the reflection of the saucer , she noticed what a beautiful china cup she was.  The  skilled artistry painted on her sides reflected the care of the potter who painted her.  She was truly a work of art lovingly crafted by the master.

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That story reminds me that when we feel as if God has shelved us or we are being put through the fire, He has a plan.  It is through these times of intense suffering, that we conform to what He is molding us to be and are being prepared for wonderful service to Him.

Wherever God has you right now, I pray that you are all there.  Allow Him to mold you and make you into His design…even when it hurts.

God bless!

Kristi

(Re-post from Lives Behind the Badge)

The day had been hectic but we were finally here.  Our boys and I sat down in the stadium seats as we waited in anticipation not only for the game to begin, but for the whole reason we had come; their dad was about to be honored with many other officers as a part of Law Enforcement Day at the St. Louis Cardinal ball park.

As soon as the announcement was made, a sea of blue and black uniforms marched with heads held high onto the ball field.  My eyes suddenly welled up with tears as I strained to see my husband file in behind many other brave men and women.  What an honor.  Though probably most of the people in the stands did not understand or feel the same sense of pride I felt that day, the genuine respect for the badge was clearly presented.

As I stopped to reflect on the gratitude and appreciation for each of those officers and their unselfish acts of service, my mind raced to another who gave of Himself completely so that I might have an eternal, safe dwelling with Him; that is Jesus Christ.

One day, the Bible says that every eye will see Him, every knee will bow, and every tongue confess that He is King of kings and Lord of lords.  At that moment, the tears will flow and my heart will flutter as He takes His rightful place of honor.

Lord Jesus, help me to always give you the honor and glory you so deserve.  For even the rocks will cry out if I am silent and fail to give you praise.  Remind me that you alone are to be honored and glorified, for you alone are worthy.

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True…On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.” Revelation 19:11, 16

God bless everyone,

Kristi

Always stand up for the little guy. That’s been my unspoken mantra for as long as I can remember.  So, when the Cpl. and I happened upon a domestic smack dab in the middle of the cat litter isle of Wally World, you can just imagine what my first reaction was going to be.

 Yes, the Christmas season was nearly approaching and we needed a few odds and ends for last minute preparations. Rounding the corner of the pet section, the sounds of an angry man could be heard echoing off the shelves with a “Bleeping, bleepity, bleep cat litter, bleeping, bleeper!!!!”

 Looking up, I saw this man’s little woman melting into the tiled floor with every berating word. Immediately my blood began to boil. If a man ever talked to me that way, it would be his last words ever spoken.

 Swallowing hard so I would not jump the gun and wring his bloody neck, I tried hard to concentrate on which brand of cat litter I would need.

 Again, “Bleep, bleeping, bleepety, bleepers!” Turning towards the couple, her eyes fixated on the floor, I looked directly at the man and said, “Sir, you need to calm down.” “Sorry, ma’am,” he retorted.   I continued, “People need to be treated with respect.”  “Yeah!” she chimed in, not helping the situation.

I could feel the Cpl. gearing up behind me to jump in and take him down. “Sorry, ma’am, I’m real sorry,” the man said again.

 Feeling my head about to pop off, I figured it best to retreat around the corner. Things had quieted down a few decibels, and I just wanted to get out of there and forget about the whole thing.

 “Bleep, bleep, bleeping cat litter!!” There he went again. I whirled around to the Cpl. and said, “We need to leave before I level that guy!” Slowly and methodically, the Cpl. rounded the bend.

Curiosity got the best of me, so I quietly pushed my cart in that direction. In a low, controlled whisper, my man - that wonderful, sent-from-Heaven-above guy, got down in the gentlemen’s face and said, “Sir, if you continue, I’m going to arrest you right here.”

 Wow! I was never so excited to be married to a cop than at that moment. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” was all the man could say. And, things did quiet down after that moment, except for my blood pressure.

Later that day as I recalled the story to my kids, I realized there were a few lessons here for me to learn:

First of all, somebody else’s temper got the best of me. Though my intentions were good, my thoughts were not. Instead of having compassion and love, I felt hatred and disdain.

Secondly, while I was ready to fight the battle, it wasn’t mine to fight. Ignoring the fact that there was authority right behind me, I took it on in my own strength.

How many times in our lives are we confronted with stressful, high-tension situations? Instead of turning to the authority – the One in charge who has the ultimate power to handle the situation, we run head first on our own accord.

Well, I guess this is an area I will have to work on. For now, though, I’m keeping my back-up close behind.

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

God bless,

Kristi

In light of all the recent officer deaths, I wanted to share a poem I wrote and published in my latest book, Standing Courageous. 

May it be a comfort and blessing to you in these tough times.

An Officer’s Blessing

To all those who bear the badge upon their chest, may God shine down on you with an everlasting light.

May the wind gently steer you down the path you are to trod, as it does a boat on an open sea.

May God’s tenderness find you wherever you go, and may His protection shield you as a mother hen covers her chicks.

May your mind be protected by the helmet of God’s Salvation – steadfast and never feeble.

May your voice be a welcome guide to those who have lost their way.

May your heart be that of a mighty warrior – strong and true, yet full of love.

May your hands be strong for the tasks ahead, yet gentle enough to caress an infant’s cheek.

 May you wear confidently the belt of truth, never compromising its strength and support.

May your feet be fitted with a readiness for action, and lead you only toward the high roads paved by God.

And, at the end of your days, may the Lord, Himself, escort you home to a place that He has prepared for you amongst the great.

God bless!

-         Kristi Neace