(Friends, this is a re-post from a few years ago. My dad is currently in the hospital and is not expected to live but just a few more hours. Please lift us up in your prayers as we walk this journey. God bless)
I don’t know about you, but I’ve experienced crumbling walls. It’s not a pretty picture…especially if you’re the one standing underneath!
Being the wife of a police officer for 23 years, I have come to recognize that his job is God-ordained. It’s not often thought of as that…why, turn on any news station and all one hears is the tearing and ripping apart of our police. No-one wants to be held accountable these days.
Romans 13, however, describes an officer’s job. As you peer into the lines that God spoke and Paul wrote, we see that “There is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God….For he is God’s servant.”
If it’s God-ordained, then it’s a good thing, right? Whoa there Nelly! With this high calling, come stresses. How about anxiety and depression? Try temptation, financial worries, and fear on for size. These are all emotions that the officer can experience throughout his or her career.
According to the Officer Down Memorial Page, there have been 11 officer deaths so far this new year! I may be stepping out on a limb here, but chances are, the thought of “could it be me next” must cross their mind a time or two.
So ladies, what do we find happens? They clam up…most of them, anyway. Normally, cops don’t talk. Part of it is the nature of the job. They simply cannot tell everything that is going on. The other part, is that it’s hard to express to someone who is not in the same world, the stresses of the job. It’s as if they would have to leave the security of their “normal,” in order to express what they experience.
With all that inner turmoil, the wife is suddenly left feeling unloved, unappreciated, lonely, and resentful. She might notice that he no longer has time to just sit and talk. Even when he’s home, it might be that his thoughts are a million miles away, leaving her to feel unnoticed.
I know there have been times in my own life when I’ve began resenting the job. Resenting all the time that others are getting, when I’m needing him at home. Tough spot. Walls begin to crumble.
If I could have a dollar for every time we went to a restaurant and, you know the routine, he sits with his back against the wall with you in front…eyes scanning, scanning. Oh, and it doesn’t stop there! What about church, for heaven’s sake? Same thing.
So what happens? F R I C T I O N! You guessed it. Bricks and mortar are now barreling down between the two. Someone’s going to get hurt.
According to Police Dynamics Institute, Inc., divorce for law enforcement if 60-70% higher than the national average; alcoholism is 2x the national average; domestic violence is the highest of all professions! That one just baffles me. Isn’t that what they are arresting people for? Sadly, suicide is 3x the national average. For some, the walls have caved in on them and there is no hope left.
In the ancient world, there were two great cities…Ninevah and Babylon. Both had great walls around them and attitudes to match. Babylon’s walls were over 350 feet tall and even encompassed one of the seven ancient wonders of the world, the hanging gardens. Their walls had not been penetrated for something like over a 1000 years and they felt on top of the world…undefeated.
Don’t we often get that feeling with our marriages? Oh, it’s okay. We’re solid. Nothing can destroy us. He loves me, I love him. The kids are okay. Then before we know it, the wall begins to crumble.
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I’m not one to watch many cop shows. I’ve just never really liked them, however, since I am married to one – a cop, that is, occasionally out of love for my man, I have taken one in.
