1. Respect their position. It's not always easy. Let's just face it, some husbands are not always the most charming, loving, or at times, even likable. However, God's word is clear that we are to respect their position or authority in the home. God is so good, though, and lays out an easy-to-follow plan. He calls for husbands to love their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28) and to not be harsh with them (Colossians 3:19). When a husband is following God's commands, then it is easy to respect a husband's authority. But what if he isn't doing those things? Well, there still needs to be a level of respect shown for the position of head. Just as we don't always agree or support whomever is in the Office of President, we are to respect the position as a God-ordained authority.
2. Don't make issue of small things. It is easy to begin to nit-pick about everything. When wives are not getting the time and attention they feel they deserve, the little annoying habits of their mate can become center stage. Overlook the small things. Look at the bigger picture. Find things he is doing right and compliment him on those things. Eventually, the more good you find, the less frustration you will feel.
3. Be his biggest cheerleader. Girls...your man wants to know you support him. Believe it or not (and whether he tells you or not), your opinion trumps all others. He needs to hear your encouraging words and feel your support in whatever he does. If he wants to rope the moon, believe in him and let him know that you think he can do it! Build him up and show him you care. Cheering him on is a big step in the right direction to a healthy relationship.
4. Find common ground. Find something that interests your man and support him in it. If he likes to hunt, then by all means try it out with him. If he's a sports nut, watch a game and learn something about what you're watching. (Thanks, Rick, for not liking sports!) Have a common interest that both of you like to do. If nothing else, go to the gym together and don't growl about it...note to self. :)
5. Show him some loving. Sigh. I hate to cover this topic, but girls, your man needs you. Don't play the game of hard to get. If you do, someone else might be a little more accessible. Enjoy your man. God created marriage and sex in marriage. To a man, it is a VITAL part of the relationship in helping him to feel secure, manly, loved, etc. Read the Song of Songs in the Bible. It will definitely give you a new perspective. Enough said.
6. Don't be so serious. Guys want and need to come home to a lighter atmosphere (especially if they're cops). Yes, there are bills to be paid, financial worries, car problems, kid issues and the like, but there also needs to be FUN! Find ways to laugh and have those fun moments. They go a long way in a stressful world. I always tell Rick that I keep him entertained. :)
7. Find times to be quiet. It's a funny thing. Guys see each other in a hallway and may head nod, gesture, grunt, punch their shoulder, say a quick "hi" and move on, or ignore them altogether. Women see each other in a hallway and they have to stop and find out what Johnny has been up to, what Susie wore to school today, what's for lunch, the latest Pinterest project, who is the latest divorce casualty, etc. Women use something like 80,000 words a day...guys, not so much. Some times we just need to be quiet. I know, I know, you need to tell him something. Believe me, it can wait. Be sensitive to those times he just needs to relax and zone out. He will thank you for it.
8. Be specific. Again, we women tend to draw pictures with our words. I remember when Rick and I finally got texting. He said that he liked it a whole lot better because I had to get right to the point. There are times that flowery expressions are okay and warranted, but when it comes to needing your man to do something specific, direct words work best. Don't assume they just know. Don't assume that they can read your mind...they can't. Tell them exactly (from point A to point B) what you want, need, etc. Example: Say, "I want/need you to tell me 'I love you' every morning before you leave," instead of "Do you think I'm attractive? I'm not sure this outfit makes me look big or not. I think you look nice. You know, Sandy said that Bob tells her he loves her every day. Isn't that nice?" Right to the point, girls. You lost him at the first question. He's still thinking about that one, and has not even compartmentalized the hint about Sandy and Bob. Sigh.
9. Pray and be an example. Again, you knew it would come to this. Prayer is the first thing you should be doing for your husband every day. Bringing him before the throne room of God is so important! And...it can move mountains!! Secondly, he should see your faith in action. 1 Peter 3:1 says, "Wives in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives." PRICELESS! Ladies...live out your faith. Your man needs to see your love and devotion to God and the changes He is making in your life. If nothing else, his curiosity is going to be peeked by your sweet spirit and God-honoring ways. Live it out loud!
Well, those are the points I would make today on How to Love Your Man. If both spouses would take to heart these things and many others, marriages could certainly be saved, be thriving, and be a source of strength, love and security for the next generation.
How about you? Are you up for the challenge? Rick and I will be married twenty-five years this year, so the two of us must be doing something right! We've learned a few of these over the years and are still working on others. Believe me, marriage is a beautiful thing and a life-long process. Hang in there and fight for it!