How to Win Your Wife's Heart

I don't know if it's the sign of the times, or if I'm just more aware, but it seems as if every single day someone is getting divorced or having marital problems. A few of those have closely affected my family, but countless others are friends...good friends, who have succumbed to the enemy's lies that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, or that somehow marriage was made as as disposable entity.  Not so, my friends.  Not so.

My next couple of blogs are going to focus on marriage and the basics that God laid out in the beginning of time.  It's really not rocket science, but yet, I truly understand the heartaches and frustrations.  I'm human, you know, and Rick and I have had our share of struggles.  But in the end, all that really matters is a relationship with Christ.  I can't stress that enough.  He is the glue that holds two very different people together.  Without Him...well, you just have a chaotic mess, or at best, a marriage without the fruit of God's blessing and eternal promises. 

Today I want to look at How to Win Your Wife's Heart.  It's been said that for a man to understand his wife, he would have to be God, but I believe (and know) there are real steps that can be taken to ensure her approval and love, and your peace of mind...literally! Lol.

1. Always put her needs above your own.  It's not a natural thing.  Every one of us tend to lean to our own pleasure and comfort.  We want what makes us happy, what appeals to us, etc., but your wife needs to know that she is important to you; that her needs are being met or at least being attempted.  Taking the time to understand what is important to her helps her feel your love and gives her a sense of security.  Believe me when I say, if you meet her basic needs (not always her wants, but true needs - physically, spiritually, emotionally), she will in turn display a loving spirit towards you.  It's a win, win situation.

2. Do the little things.  Guys...don't make her beg or nag.  Put the dishes in the dishwasher before she asks.  Notice the trash spilling over on the floor and take it out.  Pick up your dirty clothes in the bathroom.  And by all means...pick up your towel!!  Whether you realize it or not, those things are so important to a woman.  She wants a man who is going to demonstrate love through action.  They may just be little things to you, but they are MAJOR in her book.

3. Watch your tone.  Women are typically, tenderhearted.  Whether or not they have a tough exterior, their hearts are soft and easily offended.  When your words are loud or filled with sarcasm and negativity, they wound deeply.  She may retort right back, but she will never forget the blows to her heart.  Watch your tone.  When reproving your wife or discussing emotionally charged topics, try your best to keep an even tone and say things as loving as possible.  Remember, you are only accountable for you and your actions, so watch them closely.

4. Compliment her often and mean it!  Women are constantly comparing themselves to others.  They may seem confident in their person, but chances are they have some sources of insecurity.  Compliment them.  They need to hear it, even if you've been married a lifetime.  Women crave the attention of their mate.  Point out good qualities and bless her with admiration.  She is a gift to you by God, so find ways to let her know.

5. Lead her.  Even in today's society where women are strong and self-sufficient, most women want a man who can lead.  Men, you have a big responsibility.  You must step up to the plate and be the example to your wife and children.  You must display godly qualities and loving guidance within your home.  Your wife's marital security depends on your ability to lead her with love, confidence, strength and wisdom, but not overlook the fact that she has valuable opinions as well, which leads into the next point.

6.  Listen to and value her opinions.  Women have a keen sense of intuition and perception, plus they are naturally gifted in areas God has given them to be your partner and help mate.  Listen to your wife and value her opinion.  Often times, while you are running around putting out fires, she is carefully weighing out all options.  Though as the head of the home you make the final decision, she should be a valuable source and consideration.

7.  Be man enough to say you're sorry.  A true gentleman can admit when he's wrong.  Apologizing never shows weakness, but exhibits true strength.  When you've messed up (and you will), own it and apologize.  If she is any kind of a woman, she will love you all the more!

8.  Display and model your love for God.  You knew I'd get to this, didn't you?  :)  Whether you or your wife has been brought up in a Christian environment or not, it is the most important thing you can do for you and for those you love.  Seek the Lord.  He has given you authority in your home and, therefore, you need His guidance and wisdom.  Live out your faith.  Let your wife (and children) see godly behavior and attitudes.  Leave a legacy.  Let it be said of you, "He was a man after God's own heart."  There is no better gift to give your spouse, than to love the Lord above all.  He that follows God is a manly man!

I know that this is not an exhaustive list, but hopefully does give a few helpful pointers.  Please don't think I'm picking on you men.  Next post will be all about the ladies!!

Have a good weekend, and LOVE YOUR WIFE!



  1. Fantastic article: your ideas are very close to the reality. All the points look convincing and are penned down superbly. Just what I was looking for.

  2. Glad it helped! :) Wishing you all the best...Kristi


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