Kristi Neace is an accomplished Author, Speaker and Artist. She is also Founder of a nation-wide, non-profit ministry called Badge of Hope. Join her as she blogs about life as a cop's wife, offers "God-isms", and/or just offers encouragement in such an upside-down world.
Surviving Infidelity Within the Thin Blue Line - Part IV
As we close out our look into a personal journey of one couple's walk through infidelity, it is our desire that you walk away with encouragement and a renewed hope for your marriage.
Let's get the rest of the story...
I began speaking to one of
the counselors on a regular basis before we ever did anything as a couple.It was a good thing too.While trying to deal with the fact that he
had betrayed me once, I then found out that he had continued the
affair for 8 months after the initial discovery.To add insult to injury, there were several
more “one night stands”.I called my
counselor and all I wanted to hear was that it was going to be okay and that we
would make it through.Those words of
encouragement were critical.She said “This
is not for the weak.You can make it
through this and it can be better than it was, but it will take work.”God
knew I needed those words.
If you are dealing with infidelity,
the words shared with you may be different than the ones shared with me, but know
this, God has NOT abandoned you.He is
with you, holding you, just like every good Daddy does when his daughter is
It was also hard because I
wanted to protect the dignity of my husband and my family.Very few people were aware of what I was
going through.I should get an academy
award for my performance.I didn’t want
to tell my children, because they didn’t need to be dragged through the
mud.They didn’t deserve to have their
world turned upside down.They needed to
feel safe even if I didn’t.I also
didn’t want people telling me how bad he was and that he would do it again.“Once a cheater always a cheater,” we’ve
often heard.I didn’t need any more negatives.
The journey was
painful.I couldn’t get the visions of
my husband with other women out of my head. I cried buckets of tears hoping that these
feelings of loss would leave.I wondered
how I would make it through another day.The feeling of losing my marriage was nearly unbearable.I was in mourning.Nothing would ever be the same again.
As we worked through this,
I thought that I had to leave the “old” marriage behind and start a new
one.That was heartbreaking because we
shared so many good things together.However through counseling, my husband had become the husband and father
that he was ordained to be.I wanted to
hold on to the old things but this “new” husband and father that he was
becoming was almost too good to be true.
One morning I was
listening to a radio program and they talked about a hybrid marriage, a mixture
of two elements - the past with all of the good memories, and the future with
an amazing husband.Somehow, I was
seeing this becoming reality in my own marriage.
Today, we are several
years out of this.I will never forget
it.It doesn’t go away.I can tell you this though, all of the
heartache, tears, sickness, were worth it.I have an amazing marriage with the one that I know I was supposed to
have; the one God intended.Evil tried
to destroy us, but God took that and turned it into something amazing.I personally think he out did Himself with
So, if anyone else is
struggling…….Romans 12:12 says, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer.”