Thursday, January 15, 2015
My Blue Line Desires
God totally blessed me this week! Do you ever have those moments when you step back and just have to say, "Wow!"? Fortunately, I've been given a number of Wow! moments along my journey, and earlier this week was no exception.
Back when Rick and I got married, we were young...very young, and oh so poor. The only ring he could afford in those early years was a plain gold wedding band, until he was able later on to scrimp up enough for a small diamond ring.
It wasn't a showcase ring, but it was a token of his love and I was completely satisfied with what I had been given. It celebrated us. It didn't matter really what the ring looked like or where it came from, what mattered (and still does) is that he loved me and wanted to share his life with me.
Many years, trials, kids, job changes, etc., later, I still had the rings, though my taste in jewelry had also altered course. I chose to keep my little golden rings in a small box on my dresser and instead displayed proudly my simple but beautiful opal promise ring my love had given me when I was just 16 (yes, I could still wear it).
Fast forward to a few summers ago. Rick and I stole away on a vacation for just the two of us to the beautiful Colorado mountains. There we purchased two unique and relatively inexpensive rings at an American Indian gift shop that symbolized a new leg in our journey.
They were silver with an overlapping weave of crisscrosses on the front and around the band. This was my new ring for a few more years, and I hardly gave it a thought of something more elaborate, that is until this past Christmas.
Of course with the approaching holidays, merchants advertise their wears almost continuously until the moment has arrived, and Facebook had become a great place to advertise a duo of beautiful blue line rings - the woman's carefully inlaid with tiny blue sapphire stones surrounded by white diamond looking gems, and the corresponding man's ring - a black ceramic band with blue inlay. I had to have these rings...they were utterly perfect, especially with our ministry to law enforcement, etc.
Like a boy with a Red Rider BB gun, I drooled over the pictures fantasizing about the day I would slip one of those beauties on my finger. I imagined Christmas morn waking up to a beautifully wrapped gift box with these objects of my affection within. However, it was not meant to be. For one, I had never really said a lot about the rings. They were simply just a "want" and not a "need" in my mind.
I had since gone back to wearing my beautiful opal ring and our grown daughter kept eyeing. it. "Will you give me that ring when you die?" she would ask. I wrestled with the thought. She had been through some hard times in her young adult life - many broken relationships and lots of tears. This specific ring symbolized love...hope....future. I kept feeling as if God was saying, "Give it to her for Christmas." "But it's my ring...my best ring," I argued back. "Give it to her," He would say.
A few days before Christmas I brought up the subject with my husband. "Would it be okay with you if I gave her my ring? She's been asking for it and I think it would mean the world to her." With his blessing, I reluctantly plotted how I would give it to her, but wondered all the more what I would wear. I guess I would go back to that tiny silver crisscross band. It was pretty anyway. And we did purchase them together.
Christmas morn, after the presents had been opened, I moved myself across the room to gather one special little gift that had been hidden away. Sitting down beside my daughter I said, "There's one last gift I want you to have. Would you like me to help you open it?" She looked at me and nodded. We opened it together and inside was my beautiful opal ring. "Oh mom! You're ring! You're gonna make me cry!" Tears welled up in her eyes and I felt a dam welling up in mine. "I want you to have it. It's a symbol of true love. You will find that true love one of these days, but until then..."
She quickly slipped the ring on her finger...a perfect fit. I marched back into my room and slipped my old familiar crisscross ring back on and continued as if nothing more was expected, however in the back of my mind I still questioned God as to this kind gesture, but felt the reassurance that I had done the right thing.
Christmas came and went. New Years celebrations and 2015 busyness occupied my time. Everyone returned to work and normal routines and I had completely forgotten about the blue line rings until late last week when there was a contest running on Facebook.
There they were in all there glory. Those rings...that beautiful ring I had envisioned on my finger. The comment read something like, "leave a comment and like this post. Winners will be announced soon."
With a half thought, I typed a comment about the rings, liked the post and off I went, never dreaming anything would come out of it.
Then, on Sunday afternoon, I saw my name. "Congratulations Kristi Neace, you are our winner!" I could not believe it. Was it true? Did I really win something and not just something, but, but these rings?
I stopped what I was doing to reflect. God had asked me to give up something that was precious to me in order to bless someone else. Though at the time it was painful to let go of something that held such meaning, because of love, I willfully let it go onto the hand of another. In return, He had given me the desires of my heart. Wow! I was blown away by that.
I tell you all this sordid tale to show you how much our God cares. He knows the really big things we need in life, but He's not so out of touch that He doesn't know even the smallest desires of our heart.
It brings to mind the scripture that says:
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4
Not that He will give us everything we want, but that like a loving Daddy, He wants to bless His children with good things that will please them. Just like I did with my daughter....just like He did with me.
Blessings to you my friends,