Life is funny, isn't it? One minute you think you have it all together and know exactly what direction you are heading, and then BAM! it changes on a dime and you feel as if you are floating off into space; the spaceship's anchor cord has suddenly snapped and you're now falling further and further from the mothership.
Last year was a little like that for me...well...quite a bit like that, except that I wasn't on a spaceship and I'm still apart of civilization, and not floating, etc. So, I guess it was nothing like that, really.
What it was, though, was a learning process. I was moved out of my comfort zone and forced into something totally unfamiliar.
I was put through a process of challenging decisions and disappointments, with my emotions on high/lows almost daily.
My prayer life and quiet time with God became a desert, keeping me hard fast to find meaning...purpose...value.
I cried a lot of tears, prayed countless prayers, searched scriptures for answers, begged and pleaded for direction and wisdom, and seemingly for the most part, got repeated silence or an occasional "trust Me."
For a moment, I grew a little bitter and distant from God as I felt He had abandoned "the plan". I fought hard against His will as it didn't fit into my blueprints. But, I also stayed. I stayed there and fought.
Like Jacob, I wrestled with God and asked for His blessing. As Peter once said when asked by Jesus if he wanted to leave Him like others had done, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”.
So what do you do when rough waters such as this overwhelm you? Do you just give up? Walk away? Forget your faith?
Do you blame God for your troubles and then never recover or trust again?
Or, do you listen...wait...accept contentment...wait...trust...wait...listen...learn patience...WAIT..trust?
It's not easy, but these times though truly awful and hard to swallow, are fruitful and promise reward. I can honestly say that this year has a different feel to it. The dark clouds are beginning to part and I'm praying that I've passed the test; not with an A+, but perhaps a nice C for average.
This year I am hearing the words "be teachable" and "the year of jubilee". I believe, this year is going to hold great promise and even huge blessings if we only hang on even when the rope is completely frayed.
How about you? Are you hanging?